


Picking up the Pieces

by Featherstorm77



Series: Sad Season 8 Stuff [2]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Hopeful Ending, M/M, set after events of season 8
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-03
Updated: 2019-04-03
Packaged: 2020-01-01 08:41:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18332570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Featherstorm77/pseuds/Featherstorm77
Summary: Shiro and Keith talk.“Look, Keith, I...I don't have any excuse, okay? There's no reason for me putting that distance between us.”Keith leans forward, gaze intent until he catches Shiro's attention. The room sparks.“Do you regret doing it?”





	Picking up the Pieces

**Author's Note:**

> This fic doesn't fully make sense without reading the first one in the series, so I'd recommend looking at that first!  
> Also, thanks to everyone who talked to me about this / encouraged it, especially Kelsey <3

Keith, buoyed by his own bubbling anger and the conversation he'd had with Lance, sweeps through the halls on his way to Shiro's office quarters.

He would have waited until Shiro went to his room, but Keith knows Shiro, has known him forever, and knows he never goes to his room. He lives surrounded by his work.

Usually, that thought sends a pang of understanding running through him, a misplaced need to comfort Shiro.

Today, it doesn't even phase him.

He storms right on past anyone who's still in the hallways, not bothering to give them a second glance, and directly into Shiro's office.

Keith flings the door open. Shiro looks up.

“What -- Keith. Come in?”

Keith's eyes narrow at the way Shiro's voice softens around his name. He doesn't deserve to speak to Keith like that again, not after pretending he didn't even exist until this moment.

It's like the years haven't changed a thing for Shiro, except Keith knows they have, and he lets out a growl at the thought.

Before Shiro can respond to the whirlwind of Keith that's just stormed into his desk, said whirlwind closes the door with a snap and stalks forward.

He has so many words, so many things he wants to say to Shiro, things he needs to say to Shiro, and yet they won't come out. It's like there are too many options to choose from.

Looking at Shiro's gentle expression clears some of those thoughts up for Keith. 

“Why do you do that?”

The confusion on Shiro's face is immediate, and almost pouty. It infuriates Keith. “What do you mean?”

“That. Why haven't we spoken properly in months, yet the first time I do talk to you, you act like you care all of a sudden?”

Shiro leans forward, hurt flickering across his face. “I do care, Keith. I always have.”

“That's not going to work this time,” Keith says, grabbing the back of the only other chair in the room and plopping down on it. “You're deflecting my real question. Why haven't we talked? Why is it that after the siege on Earth, you've been acting like I'm just another crew member?”

Shiro’s looking somewhere beyond Keith. He probably hadn't been prepared for an emotional conversation. That's too bad. 

“Look, Keith, I...I don't have any excuse, okay? There's no reason for me putting that distance between us.” 

Keith leans forward, gaze intent until he catches Shiro's attention. The room sparks.

“Do you regret doing it?”

Shiro sighs. “No.”

Keith leans back and crosses his arms. “There's your answer, then.”

Keith can tell Shiro agrees by his expression alone, but what he says next surprises Keith. “Initially, I did it because I was scared. I've made a lot of decisions because I was scared, and I didn't even know I was doing it for a long time.”

Keith nods. “We all have.” He's still teeming with anger, but he can push it aside for this. He's an adult.

Shiro takes a moment to reply, opening his mouth a few times before he apparently decides on something.

“Keith...I never meant to hurt you with that. I know I did anyway, and I can't fix that, but I wanted to protect myself.”

Keith scoffs and folds his arms. “What, from me? Really?”

“From everything. And I know you know I'm just trying to explain. This isn't an excuse. I don't...expect you to forgive me.”

There was a light in his eyes that Keith hadn't seen in a long time; the look of a fighter. It was good to see, but Keith refused to react to it.

“Yeah, and I'm not going to. Obviously. I just want to know. I want to _know_ why you kept thinking it was a good idea to ignore me. We're _teammates,_ Shiro. What does that word mean to you?”

Shiro startles and doesn't seem to know what to say. Keith is willing to wait.

It takes him a while to respond. “It's...it's not that. Of course you're my family, like all the other paladins, I just….”

Keith leans forward, and he can feel his eyes burning up. “You just _what,_ Shiro? You just decided the war was more important than your family? You just needed some time alone? _Bullshit._ You were ignoring me because you were afraid to let me down! You still are! You think I'm a little kid who needs to be coddled or something, but I'm not!”

Shiro's fighting eyes flicker to life again, this time to stay. “No, Keith! I don't. I don't. You know what? You want to know why I couldn't talk to you? Because I was -- because I _am_ \-- terrified of losing you.”

Keith jumps to his feet, slamming his hands on the table. “How _dare_ you!” He snarls, and he can feel the way his pupils have slitted, and he doesn't care. Let Shiro be afraid of him instead of for him for once. “I lost you three times, Shiro, how _dare_ you. And I didn't even get any choice in the matter, and here you are, standing right there, making it a fourth time.” 

Keith doesn't know when he started crying, but he isn't about to let any tears get in the way of this. He's going to sob his way through this conversation until he can at least feel some sort of hollow satisfaction.

Shiro's face crumples, and Keith knows it's a reflection of his own, and with that thought, somehow all the fight and resolve _whooshes_ out of him. It was a dam of emotion, and now that it's gone, he just feels empty and tired as he glances at Shiro through his bangs.

Shiro lets out a punched-out sound of pain, and Keith can't help himself. He rounds the corner of the table and initiates the first physical touch the two of them have had in years.

Shiro leans into the hug like he had so many times before, and Keith could almost pretend that they were back in the past and everything didn't have to be so _complicated,_ but the way his own long strands of hair tickle his neck and the way Shiro fits against his side isn't the same.

They’d grown and changed apart, and maybe they didn't fit together anymore. Or maybe they just needed to heal together.

Keith heaves a sigh, squeezes Shiro's rib cage once, gently, and pulls away. 

“Can we agree to talk about this instead of ignoring it?” Keith rasps, voice like he swallowed sand. When his throat had gotten that rough, he didn't know.

Shiro's expression is bleary-eyed and makes Keith want to tear something apart in his name. Keith protects what’s his, and that instinct is still rooted deeply in him, especially towards Shiro.

It makes for a conflicting emotion when he knows he's the cause of Shiro's pain, but he shoves all of those feelings aside and locks them away for another time.

He waits. Shiro blinks away his worn-out expression and offers a small smile. It's barely there, but Keith knows, has always known when it comes to Shiro, that it's real. “Do you want to grab some coffee and talk in one of our rooms?”

Keith agrees, but doesn't really remember them walking in companionable silence to the lounge area of the Atlas. Lance is gone, and Shiro beelines for the coffee machine. He looks like he's running on autopilot.

Keith thanks the stars for the small mercies, but he knows Lance probably left because he has an uncanny knack for knowing when to disappear.

Keith wanders to his room, leaving Shiro to his own devices for the moment. He flings open the door, and it's as sparsely decorated as he left it. His paladin communicator is on the bedside table, a few clothes litter the floor, and his armour is carefully arranged on the dresser. These are the only personal things he has in his room. The rug, additional lighting, and art are flourishes that all the paladins have by default.

Keith shrugs out of his jacket, tosses it onto his bed, and picks up the clothes on the floor in the time it takes Shiro to poke his head in.

“Hey. Here, black with way too much sugar, the way you like it,” he says, and his tone and hands are gentle as he passes the mug to Keith.

Keith takes it, and his furrowed brow softens. “Thank you.”

He means it this time. Shiro nods and sits down and that's when Keith realizes they somehow shifted over to his small seating area. Or maybe Keith is still following Shiro everywhere subconsciously and that's why he doesn't notice, but the thought does not make him want to fight. It's just a weary acknowledgement of how deeply Shiro is ingrained into who Keith is.

Keith sighs when he sits down and takes a careful sip of coffee before he says anything. “So.” He sets his mug on the table in front of him and grits his teeth, steeling himself for the conversation ahead. It is not going to be easy, but he asked for this, and they need this, and he's not about to back out of it now. “Why did you start ignoring me?”

Shiro leans back and looks contemplative. “You scared me so goddamn much after that fight with Sendak, Keith. I...I thought I'd lost you, and then I was afraid to say anything about how much that terrified me, and it festered until I was afraid to even speak to you.”

Keith frowns. “And then I returned the cold shoulder, and you figured it was fine and that we'd go our separate ways, and here we are now.”

Shiro lets out a dry laugh. “Yeah.”

Keith nods. “Okay. I don't blame you, but...Shiro, do you ever talk to anyone about this stuff? Your husband?”

Shiro looks sheepish. “He's my ex now.” He flashes his left hand, which is void of a ring, but Keith hadn't even known there'd been one there to begin with.

“So that's a no?” Keith barrels onwards, determinedly ignoring the mess of emotions that talking about Shiro's love life brings up.

“Yeah, I guess. But just being here...doing work with you guys and seeing your faces...it's enough. Or, it could be.” He gives Keith a look.

Keith knows that look. It's the same look Shiro gave him every time he was putting in effort to befriend Keith way back at the Garrison. It's an offer, and Keith takes it.

“It could be,” Keith agrees. “And maybe we'd be able to do more of the work we've been doing if we dealt with this thing between us.” He pins Shiro with a sharp gaze, and resolves to stay determined about this. “You have to know that you mean just as much -- if not more -- to me than I mean to you.”

Shiro's breath catches. Keith doesn't know why, and he's not going to read into it, because he's said the same thing in clearer terms many times before.

“I know,” Shiro says, and he leans forward and presses a hand to Keith's shoulder, squeezing once before withdrawing. “I know, and I wanted to say it back once upon a time, but we're not those people anymore, which you obviously know, so why don't we move past it? We can come back to this conversation any time if we need to.”

There's a new expression on Shiro's face, and if Keith had to guess, he'd say it's a mixture of pain and reluctance. Shiro is hurting over this, and Keith wanted to dig into old wounds, but he forgot how much they hurt both parties. 

It's best if they give each other this space, and Keith knows that they can fall back into being friends again. Anything else was never explored and maybe it never would’ve worked. Shiro is smart to suggest limiting the pain.

He gives Shiro a wobbly smile and nods. “Yeah. We can do that.”

Shiro gets up and reaches out to Keith. “Friends?”

Keith accepts the hand clasp. “Friends.”

**Author's Note:**

> Come talk to me about sad Sheith stuff on [twitter](https://twitter.com/featherstorm77)


End file.
